Burned Bridges
by Bernadeen
Summary: Occurs after episode Complications. What are the consequences of Bud seeing Harm in an intense conversation with Lt. Singer and then of Coates seeing and probably overhearing Harm and Singer’s conversation? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Spoilers: Measure of Men, When the Bough Breaks, Complications, The Mission, Full Engagement, Adrift I & II, and almost anything through mid-season 8.

AN: I wrote this to satisfy an idea that was rattling around in my head after the original airing of "Complications." What is the significance of Bud seeing Harm in very intense conversation with Lt. Singer and then of Coates seeing and probably overhearing at least part of Harm and Singer's conversation? Here is one way this could go. And, of course, this was written before we knew Singer's fate...

**Chapter 1**

**Two days after Harm and Singer's conversation/argument at Benzenger's**

**Roberts' home**

Harriett looked over at Bud and again pondered his thoughtful, introspective countenance. "Bud, something bothering you? You've been awfully quiet this evening?"

"Ah, just some office stuff…"

"Care to share?"

Bud hesitated, but he just had to talk to someone about it. "Harriett, did you know there's office scuttlebutt about who is the father of Lt. Singer's baby?"

"Of course. There's been speculation about that since it was known she was pregnant. She's not telling so everyone is guessing."

"But I mean now I'm often hearing the same name."

"Oh, really? Who?"

Bud hesitated. Harriett turned her full attention to her husband and repeated, "What name, Bud?"

Reluctantly, Bud said, "Commander Rabb."

"You're joking! … you _are_ joking? … Bud, you know the Commander has been just as annoyed with Lt. Singer as the rest of us. Besides, he would never …"

"I know some things that the office scuttlebutt doesn't .. enough to make me wonder …"

"Bud, what could you possibly know that would make you think that that rumor could be true?"

"Well, I really don't KNOW anything, but the day that Lt. Singer came to the office, I saw the Commander and her in a very intense conversation. He was holding onto her arm like she wanted to leave and he didn't want her to."

"So his talking to her makes the rumor true? Bud …"

"There's more. Jen .. Petty Officer Coates … told me that she was at Benzenger's the next evening and the Commander and Lt. Singer were there .. together .. in the next booth. She wasn't trying to overhear, but they were arguing. She didn't hear what the Lt. said but she definitely heard the Commander demand that Singer give him her baby. Why would he want the baby if it wasn't his?" Bud badly wanted Harriett to find a flaw in what the evidence seemed to imply. Harm was Bud's friend, but more than that, Harm was Bud's hero. For the Commander to destroy his career and compromise his integrity by becoming involved with Lt. Singer, a junior officer, was unthinkable.

But Harriett sat silently, thinking about what Bud had said and about the office discussions she had heard. Was it possible? … And did Colonel MacKenzie know? As chief of staff, she had to be informed about an incident that could cause the court martial of a senior attorney, but Harriett was more concerned about Mac on a personal level. She had been so hurt by Mic's departure and by Harm's near death. Harriett would never know all the details of those few months, but she knew that Harm and Mac's friendship had almost been destroyed. They were only now regaining some level of the trust and closeness that she remembered was between them when she first met them. If the rumors were true, it would destroy them both.

Harriett sighed. "I think I should talk to the Colonel tomorrow morning." When Bud started to protest, she continued, "Bud, as chief of staff, she needs to know what's happening. It's probably better if she hears it from me than through the office rumor mill."

**Next morning**

**JAG HQ**

A few minutes after Mac arrived in her office, Harriett knocked on the doorframe and asked, "Ma'am, would you have a few minutes?"

"Of course, Harriett. Come in."

Harriett entered and closed the door behind her. Everything about her told Mac that Harriett was extremely reluctant to approach Mac about whatever was troubling her. "It's all right, Harriett. What's the problem?"

"Ma'am, has Lt. Singer told anyone who the father of her baby is?"

Mac frowned slightly in surprise. This wasn't a topic she expected Harriett to bring up, but something had Harriett very concerned. "Not as far as I know, Harriett. Why do you ask?"

"Normally I wouldn't ever repeat office gossip, but I have learned some information that isn't general knowledge but could … that is, it might … ah .." Harriett stammered to a halt.

Mac got up from her desk and walked around it to sit beside Harriett. "What is it, Harriett?"

"As chief of staff, you need to know this… otherwise, I would never … I mean …," she took a deep breath to settle her nerves and started again. "Ma'am, scuttlebutt is saying that the father of Lt. Singer's baby is …. Commander Rabb."

Mac sat stunned as several emotions washed over her in a matter of seconds .. laughter at the absurdity, utter disbelief, followed by doubt .. hurt .. panic .. anger .. and back to total disbelief of the rumor. "That's ridiculous, Harriett." She started to protest, but hesitated when she remembered how Harm had defended Singer from the time he learned she was pregnant. All the way to the Seahawk he had taken her side. Mac had challenged him on it, but she didn't remember his exact answer. "What is this other information?"

"The day that Lt. Singer was in the office, Bud saw her and the Commander in a very intense discussion in the hall. He had grabbed her arm to keep her from walking away. Bud was surprised because it was so unusual for them to be … well having that kind of discussion."

"They could have been talking about anything. That's not proof … ." Mac stated, though she wished she sounded more sure.

"There's more. Petty Officer Coates was in Benzenger's the next evening and Commander Rabb and Lt. Singer were .. together .. at the next table. She wasn't trying to eavesdrop, ma'am, but they were arguing. She heard the Commander demand that the Lt. give him the baby. Why would he say that unless …?" Harriett stopped speaking because the Colonel had turned so pale that she was afraid she might faint. "Ma'am .. Mac, I'm so sorry .."

Mac, through Marine trained discipline and will power, forced her breathing to slow and her mind to deal with the legal and procedural implications rather than personal ones. "Thank you for telling me, Harriett. That'll be all."

Reluctantly Harriett left Mac's office, still worried about having to be the bearer of such hurtful information, but also realizing that Mac was not going to let herself fall apart, at least not here and not now.

Mac from habit rose and walked around her desk, sinking down into her office chair. Her mind was whirling. Could it be true? Of course not! Harm had claimed he held back from taking their own relationship to the next step because of complications to their working relationship. He would never have gotten involved with Singer when that would mean being court martialed for fraternization and a certain end to his Navy career. But how to explain the two incidents that Harriett described? And there was Harm's defensiveness of Singer that Mac herself had observed.

As her mind continued to grapple with the problem, the object of her concern appeared in her doorway. When he saw Mac deep in thought, Harm knocked softly on the doorframe and asked, "Do you have the Wilson file?"

He watched Mac reign in her thoughts and bring her attention to his question. Well, maybe not quite to his question because she answered vaguely, "I .. I don't know …" She stared at him for several seconds and he didn't like the look in her eyes. Then she took a deep breath, sat up straighter in her chair and asked him to come into her office and close the door.

Harm did as she asked and waited for her to tell him what was going on. Any joking comment he might have made died before spoken as he sensed the depth of Mac's concern and saw her reluctance to speak. Finally, in a formal tone, which he could tell was covering deep emotions, she spoke. "Commander, there is no easy way to say this. As expected, there are rumors about the identity of the father of Lt. Singer's child; however, information has come to my attention that indicates the latest rumors may be true." As Mac hesitated for an instant, Harm had time to wonder how they had found out about Sergei, but Mac's next words astounded him. "As chief of staff, I have an obligation to report serious violations of the UCMJ to the Admiral .. Commander, it appears there is a possibility that you are the father of Lt. Singer's baby."

The complete surprise on Harm's face reassured Mac for an instant, but the denial she expected wasn't forthcoming. Instead, he sat silently, clearly processing many thoughts and emotions with his razor sharp intelligence.

Harm's first instinct, after the few seconds of total astonishment, was to vehemently deny the allegation. But the words didn't come. First of all, on a personal level, how could Mac think it might be true, even for a moment? It hurt deeply that there was so little trust between them these days.

But from a strategic viewpoint, if he were to assert paternal rights, it would delay Loren being able to make final adoption arrangements until after the baby was born and a paternity test could be done. Of course, by then he would have been court martialed for fraternization and dishonorably discharged from the Navy! How much was he willing to sacrifice for Sergei's child. And what if the test showed it wasn't Sergei's child .. then he would have given up everything he cared about .. his career and a chance to be close to the woman he loved .. for nothing. Still, there might be something here .. he had to have time to think it through.

Mac's world slowly crumbled around her as she watched Harm sit in what appeared to be guilty silence. In a voice she barely recognized as her own, she almost pleaded, "Harm, tell me it can't be true .."

Harm shook his head slightly, but couldn't seem to find the words to deny the charge. In fact, he wouldn't meet her eyes as he struggled to speak. Mac drew the only conclusion left to her .. In a pain-filed voice she whispered, "How could you? What about your career? What about … us?"

While Harm knew he needed to tell Mac the truth, he hesitated because her willingness to believe him guilty so quickly hurt deeply. Now her question, 'what about us?' triggered an anger that his raw pain allowed to take control of him. He stood up and towered over her as she looked up at him. His voice dangerously cold and controlled, he said, "Colonel, there is no 'us.' We never had that talk, remember? If we had, I would have told you that I was ready to let go .. that I would do whatever it took so we could be together .. that I loved you .. But we never had that talk. The timing was always wrong for us. Now I see that it was more than bad timing. If you know so little about who I am and trust me so little that you believe I was with Singer, then there was never any hope for us as a couple. I'm not sure we're even friends any longer." And with those harsh words, he jerked the door open, allowing it to swing against the opposite wall with a bang that brought the attention of the bullpen to them, and stalked toward his own office. Going inside his office, he swung the door shut with an angry snap.

Sturgis had entered the bullpen in time to see Harm's angry exit from Mac's office to his own. They were at it again. He really thought they were making progress and all the tension was behind them. Maybe that was naive of him .. people in love always fight from time to time. But these two had never acknowledged their feelings to each other. That was probably why tempers could flare so much easier.

Sturgis was still debating whether to get involved when he saw Mac leave her office and walk toward the Admiral's. Sturgis had a feeling something bad had happened because the Colonel looked like she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Looking toward Harm's closed door, Sturgis knew that Harm wouldn't talk to him until he had cooled off. He would try to help his friend later, but right now Sturgis decided it was better to stay clear of the battle.

Mac had asked Tiner to get her in to see the Admiral immediately. He had to be told what was happening. She dreaded this meeting, too, but it couldn't be worse than her recent encounter with Harm. She couldn't allow herself to dwell on his harsh words .. on his admissions that only a few days ago would have made her very happy .. only later when she was alone would she allow herself to feel the full pain of her loss.

She knocked and was told to enter. The Admiral waved her to a chair before she had the chance to come to attention. One look at his chief of staff told AJ that something serious had happened, but he waited patiently for Mac to speak. In a cool, unemotional voice, the Colonel began her report. "Sir, I have recently received information that may identify the father of Lt. Singer's baby. If the information is correct, it will cause problems for this office." After only the slightest hesitation, she continued, "I have reason to believe that the father is Commander Rabb."

The Admiral sat back in surprise. "Your information must be pretty solid for you to make such an accusation, Colonel."

"It's all circumstantial, but there are four incidents that, when taken together, seem to lead to only one conclusion. When Lt. Singer was in this office, we all tended to be, well, less than friendly with her. She is a bit ruthless in her ambition and didn't invite friendships. But when the Commander and I flew to the Seahawk, he continually defended her, saying he didn't believe she had violated the rules against fraternization since being assigned sea duty, and excusing her extreme recommendations to court martial half the air crew for the flight deck mishap. This week, two meetings between the Commander and the Lt. were observed, during one of which, the Commander was overheard to demand that Lt. Singer give him her baby. And finally …" Mac took a deep breath to maintain her calm, "he didn't deny that he is the father, sir."

"You asked him?" the Admiral asked in surprise.

Mac could only nod silently.

"You're right, if this is true, it will cause this office problems. But I'm mostly concerned that it will end a fine officer's career and hurt a lot of people." He looked at his chief of staff with concern. She was one of the people who would be hurt .. already had been hurt by the look of her. "All right. Mac, I know this has to be hard for you. Let me take it from here. Ask Tiner to send the Commander in to see me. Dismissed."

While he waited for Harm, the Admiral tiredly rubbed his hands over his face. He didn't believe the charge. While Rabb used unorthodox methods at times to solve cases and defend his clients, the Admiral knew him to have the highest integrity and respect for regulations of any officer he knew. It was impossible for AJ to imagine that Harm would have a moment of weakness with Lt. Singer, particularly when he would bet a lot of money that Harm was in love with Mac. He heard a knock and called, "enter… Close the hatch," as Harm stepped into his CO's office.

"Have a seat, Commander." AJ looked at his senior attorney closely. Clearly he was troubled, but being accused by Mac of fathering another woman's child, let alone the career implications, would account for that.

"I have just been told some disturbing news, and I need to hear your side. Apparently there are some circumstances that would lead one to believe you are the father of Lt. Singer's child."

Harm knew this conversation was inevitable, though he had hoped to have more time to think things through before it happened. He knew, however, that he could not mislead his commanding officer. "No, sir, I am not the father … but I believe my brother Sergei is."

AJ breathed an audible sigh of relief and said, "Well, that explains a lot. Has she told you that?"

"No, sir. But they were seen cuddling in a back booth at Benzenger's the night before he left for Russia, and I saw them together myself the next morning. She drove him to the airport. She denies that Sergei is the father but I don't believe her. Now she wants to put the baby up for adoption. This child is part of my family, sir. I don't want it to grow up not knowing a father."

"All right, Commander. You, Singer and Sergei will have to work this out. But I strongly suspect you have some fences to mend right here."

Harm shook his head sadly. "Admiral, I said some things to the Colonel today that I'm afraid burned all my bridges. I don't know whether there's any rebuilding possible this time. However, I assure you I will do my best to continue the good order and discipline of this office, sir, and not let any … tension between the Colonel and me be disruptive."

"Well, that'll be a first," AJ muttered skeptically.

"Sir?"

"Dismissed, Commander." As Harm came to attention and turned to leave, the Admiral added, "Oh, and by the way, I intend to keep the details of our conversation confidential. I will tell the Colonel that I am satisfied that you did not violate the rules against fraternization, but if you want her to know more, you'll have to be the one to tell her."

"Understood, sir. Thank you."

Harm returned to his office and closed the door. He sat down and thought about his two problems: Singer wanting to give up Sergei's child and losing Mac's friendship. Turning his mind to the easier of the two, he tried to work out a plan to persuade Loren to keep her baby and let him be part of its life. Since he had denied being the father, his half formed plan to delay adoption by claiming parental rights wouldn't work. Or, maybe it would. He could still tell Loren that he planned to do that. She would doubt his seriousness because it would end his career. Still he might convince her that family was more important to him than career and hold off on the adoption plans. It was a long shot, though. She would never believe that anyone would put family ahead of career because she wouldn't see her priorities that way. If she called his bluff, he would have to go to plan B. And right now he didn't have a plan B.

His other problem was more difficult. How to rebuild his relationship with Mac once again. It seemed like they kept hitting rough spots, but always were able at least to remain friends. Their early competitiveness .. her anger at his courtroom tactics the first time they opposed each other .. the friction between them on the Watertown .. Mac leaving JAG to be with Dalton Lowne .. his leaving JAG to return to flying .. the whole fiasco on the ferry in Sidney Harbor and Mac's engagement .. the aftermath of Mic leaving and Harm nearly dying .. yet each time they regained some portion of their friendship.

Harm sighed. Mac had said it .. she was tired of the dance. He could certainly agree with that. Ever since Mic left, he had been trying to have the talk he knew they needed to have. More than a year and it still hadn't happened. He had tried .. he had made it clear he was ready to talk .. but she always put him off. Lately their friendship seemed to be working again and, coward that he was, he hadn't wanted to take a chance on derailing that with relationship discussions.

Now everything had changed again. Harm was at a loss on what to do about Mac. In hurt and anger, he'd said things that he only expected to say with love. His heart quite literally felt like it was being squeezed by a giant fist when he remembered that he had told her they weren't even friends any longer. If she was feeling as badly as he was, they both needed a little time to put the incident into perspective. Not too much time, though, or the whole thing would fester and cause an irreparable chasm between them that they would never be able to cross.

Harm looked at his watch and was surprised that it wasn't even lunch time yet. It seemed like the morning had been days long with its life changing events. His desk was piled with open cases that needed his attention, but he struggled to focus on them. He remembered a particular case and pulled the file from the stack of folders. Here it was .. yes .. it would require several interviews at Norfolk. Slipping the required file and several others into his briefcase, Harm picked up his cover and left the office, telling the receptionist that he would be in Norfolk doing interviews for the remainder of the day. At least that would ensure that he would not need to see Mac until tomorrow. Maybe he would figure out what to say to her by then, but he seriously doubted it.

Mac saw Harm leave the Admiral's office. Shortly afterward, the Admiral had called her and told her that there would be no charges against Commander Rabb .. that he was convinced that no rules had been violated. Though it was not stated, the obvious explanation was that the Admiral believed Harm was not the father of Singer's baby. Then what was the explanation? …

Suddenly the pin dropped! Sergei! Harm had once mentioned that Sergei was intrigued by Singer and Harm kept warning him away from her. What if the warnings only made her more attractive to Sergei. If Sergei were the father, that would explain a lot of things. Harm must have suspected right away, otherwise why would he have defended her when they went out to the Seahawk. It would also explain why he had been overheard demanding that Singer give him the baby. Either Singer was planning to abort it or release it for adoption. Either way, Harm would be desperate to protect the child.

Convinced that she was right, Mac moved on to the next problem. How to regain Harm's friendship and .. yes, his love. He had finally admitted that he loved her .. but he was hurt and angry that she could have believed the rumors. If she had only figured it out sooner, she could have avoided the scene with Harm. But the whole thing had been such a shock .. such a hurtful idea to her. She still couldn't figure out why he had hesitated and actually appeared guilty when she asked him about it. Probably trying to protect Sergei.

Her desk was stacked with cases that needed to be handled. She didn't want to rush into any unwise action concerning her personal problems. Take the evening, she told herself. Think it through. What could she do to convince him to listen to her. Because she was sure Harm's defenses would be in full force. They were both very good at building walls between each other.

She glanced up a few minutes later as a tall familiar figure crossed the bullpen and left JAG. Probably just as well. It would have been extremely awkward for Harm and her to bump into each other today. Maybe by tomorrow she would have a plan.

Unfortunately, the chance to set things straight between Harm and Mac took second place to the demands of their jobs. The Admiral sent Harm to the USS Seahawk to investigate a mishap.

End Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

**Chapter 2**

**Two weeks later…**

Harm returned to the office for the first time in two weeks. First there was a case on the Seahawk and then two more cases away from Washington. He suspected that the Admiral was purposely keeping him away from Mac until emotions cooled and they could discuss their misunderstanding civilly.

Harm's inbox was stacked high and he groaned as he tackled the many files awaiting his attention. Mac didn't seem to be in her office, but since he still wasn't sure what was next for them, he didn't inquire about her.

Just before noon, Mac returned from court. As she walked toward her office, she noticed that Harm was back. So now what? She had never been in a situation where she felt so unsure of how to proceed. The coward's way was to ignore their disagreement and stick to a professional demeanor. That might work for her except that Mac couldn't get Harm's words out of her mind, "I would have told you that I was ready to let go .. that I would do whatever it took so we could be together .. that I loved you .."

A week later …

It was nearing the end of the normal work day when Tiner put his head in Harm's office and told him that Lt. Singer was on the phone for him. Clearly Tiner was filing this bit of information away for later discussion.

Harm picked up the phone and identified himself.

"Commander, there's something I need to tell you. Can you meet me after work? Benzenger's .. 1800?"

Something in the Lt's voice prompted Harm to ask, "Loren, are you all right?"

"Yes, I guess so. I'll tell you about it when I see you." And with that she ended the conversation.

Harm had a bad feeling about the upcoming discussion and waited impatiently until he could leave for the designated meeting time. At 1755, Harm walked into Benzenger's, looking around for Singer. He saw her in a booth in the back. He didn't notice several members of the JAG support staff on the other side of the room, but they watched the senior attorney's progress across the room with interest.

Harm slipped into the seat across from the Lieutenant. "Loren, how are you?" he asked. She seemed subdued, almost sad.

After the merest hesitation, she met his inquiring gaze and answered, "Commander, I thought you should know before everyone else. I lost the baby .." her voice caught in her throat and she stopped to compose herself. Who would have thought that this loss would bother her so much, she thought to herself. She could see the accusation in Harm's eyes and rushed on, "I didn't do anything to cause it, Commander. It just happened. It was a little girl .. and yes, Sergei was the father. I .. I was exploring the possibility of an open adoption .. one where the natural parents .. and other family members .. and the adoptive family all are involved in the child's life ... but none of that matters now." She couldn't quite keep her eyes clear of moisture as she looked up at Harm.

Harm's voice was soft and sad, "Loren, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for telling me personally… I assume you'll be applying for reinstatement of active duty?"

"Yes, I plan to drop off the paperwork with the Admiral tomorrow, so then everyone will know that I'm no longer pregnant. I don't plan to tell anyone else any details .. it's none of their business .. "

Harm found himself asking, "Loren, do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?"

Some of her former defenses dropped into place. "No, thank you, Commander. I'm just looking forward to getting back to active duty."

Harm decided that Loren should be prepared for the office gossip she would encounter if she spent any time at JAG HQ. "Loren, you should know that there's a lot of speculation about who fathered your baby. .. Lately the leading candidate is .. me."

"You ..?" Loren was shocked.

"We were seen together and apparently part of our conversation at our last meeting here was overheard."

"But if the Admiral pursues it, it would end your career, sir."

Harm looked at Loren closely. She really seemed concerned. Just a good actress, he decided. "I told the Admiral who I suspected the father to be. He accepted my word. Everyone else seems to believe the rumors." His tone was bitter as he thought of Mac's rush to judge him.

"If anyone sees us here today, that will only add to the rumors."

"I can withstand rumors. It won't be the first time my private life has been the topic of office gossip," Harm said with a slight smile. He had accepted the rumors about him and Mac years ago. Pity they weren't true.

"I will be seeing the Admiral tomorrow about getting back to active duty. I'll tell him who the father was. You tried to help me, even though I wasn't very appreciative. I don't want your career affected by something that you didn't do."

Harm looked at Loren for a few seconds. Beneath her icy crust, there just might be a human being in there. Perhaps that's what Sergei saw. "Thank you, Loren." He cocked his head and gave her a completely natural teasing grin, "Careful, you might let people see you're human after all."

She grinned back and answered, "Couldn't have that." After a short pause, she continued more seriously, but in a friendlier tone than she usually used. "When it felt like I had no friends at JAG, Sergei was charming, thoughtful and kind. You and Sergei are more alike than I thought."

"You know, Loren, you have a chance to start over wherever you are assigned. I think I'm seeing you as you have allowed few of your colleagues to do. Don't push everyone away. The world is a lonely place if you have only your ambition."

"I'm beginning to realize that, sir."

The conversation apparently at an end, Harm offered, "Can I give you a ride somewhere?"

"Actually, sir, I would appreciate a ride to my hotel if that's not too inconvenient. I didn't want to do anything about lodging or a car until I find out where I'll be stationed. … But I don't want to impose …"

"I offered, didn't I? Let's go." Though the words were abrupt, Harm was smiling. He threw some money on the table and followed Loren through the growing evening crowd toward the door. Once again, a few members of the JAG staff watched their departure.

Separate from the original group were three officers who also watched the pair cross the room. Tracy Manetti hadn't been at JAG long enough to fully appreciate the significance of the event. She had heard that the Commander and the Colonel had been partners and friends for several years. And she had heard the rumors about the parentage of Lt. Singer's baby. In the few months of working with the Commander, she had come to respect him and couldn't believe that he would throw away his career for a fling with a junior officer, particularly one who, at least by reputation, was as prickly as a cactus.

Sturgis watched his long-time friend with a bemused expression. Could it be true, he wondered. Harm didn't always worry about the consequences of his actions, but would he be so foolish as to lay himself open to a charge of fraternization with a junior officer, especially Lt. Singer? He shook his head slightly to his own thoughts. No, there had to be some other explanation.

As these thoughts rushed through Sturgis' mind, he glanced across the table to see Mac's reaction. For an instant he saw all the hurt that Harm's apparent betrayal caused her. Then the shield dropped and all he saw was stoic Marine discipline. "Looks like the Commander has made a new friend." She stated stonily.

Unaware of the turmoil he was causing his friends, Harm guided Loren toward his Corvette and opened the door for her. She slipped into the passenger seat. "Nice car," she said with a gleam in her eyes.

"Thanks," Harm responded as he slipped behind the wheel, turned the key and the powerful engine roared to life. Singer named her hotel and they drove in silence. As they pulled up in front of the modest motel near the Interstate, Harm glanced at his watch. "Would you like some company for dinner?" he asked, indicating the family restaurant next door.

Loren looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you doing this?" she asked irritably.

"Doing what?"

"Being nice to me?"

Harm looked at her sadly. "Are you so unfamiliar with the concept of friendship that you don't recognize it when it's offered?"

"But why would you offer me friendship? I haven't exactly been friendly to you or your friends?"

"Maybe I got a glimpse of what Sergei saw and I don't want to write you off just yet."

Loren looked down at her hands and struggled with her conflicted emotions. She had fought so hard for everything she had achieved, never allowing herself any friends. She told herself that friends made her weak, made her vulnerable, because they would know too much about her. She had always protected herself from anyone getting too close.

She glanced up at Harm as he watched her closely. "I guess we both have to eat," she said ungraciously.

Harm chuckled as he pulled into a parking space in front of the restaurant and got out.

During the meal, Loren made a conscious effort to be nice. To have the Commander as a friend would be a powerful advantage to her career. And, while she attempted to hold on to her ordered thoughts directed only toward considering how this alliance could help her advancement, she felt her deepest feelings betraying her. She found Harm charming and fun. While she knew he was strictly off limits romantically, she was warmed by his attempt to know her better. And those eyes .. and that smile .. my god, he can turn any woman's knees to mush. Does he even know how devastatingly handsome he is, she wondered.

After their meal, they walked back to the hotel. Harm stopped at the entrance and said, "Loren, things don't always happen the way we would want them to, but I was advised several years ago never to look back. Good luck to you. I hope your next assignment is a positive step in your career. And if it's away from JAG HQ, keep in touch .. I mean it."

Loren smiled and said sincerely, "Thank you, Commander. I appreciate your …" she stopped, not quite knowing how to express what she hadn't defined to herself.

Harm seemed to understand, "You're welcome, Loren. Good night."

End Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Spoilers: Measure of Men, When the Bough Breaks, Complications, The Mission, Full Engagement, Adrift I & II, and almost anything through mid-season 8.

A/N: For you Sturgis fans, look for him to play an important role helping our favorite "sometimes-don't-have-a-clue" dual repair some burned bridges.

**Chapter 3**

**Next morning**

**JAG HQ**

Harm had debated whether to approach the Admiral about Lt. Singer's next assignment. There was some risk that it would appear strange that Harm was suddenly taking such an interest in her career and the Admiral might wonder whether Harm had been totally honest with him. Harm decided it was worth the risk. He had never hesitated to take a risk to help someone he thought deserved it. Loren was a good attorney, but she needed to unwind a bit and she needed experience. He knew the Admiral was frustrated with her recent conduct, but Harm felt obligated to try to keep her out of a dead-end assignment.

Having decided to talk to the Admiral before Lt. Singer came in, Harm walked over to Tiner's desk and asked whether the Admiral was free to see him. He was told to go on in.

Harm knocked, entered when told to do so, and came to attention in front of the Admiral's desk. "At ease, Commander. What's on your mind?"

"Sir, Lt. Singer will be coming to see you today."

"I saw her name on my appointment list. Any idea what she wants?"

"Yes, sir. She is no longer pregnant and will be applying for active duty."

The Admiral frowned. "Wonder why she changed her mind. I had understood that she was going to have the baby."

"She was. It was a miscarriage."

The Admiral frowned even more. "How the hell do you know so much about it?" he asked sharply.

"The Lieutenant and I talked last night. She admitted that Sergei was the father of her baby, a little girl. She had been exploring open adoption possibilities. The loss has been difficult for her, but she is anxious to get back to active duty… Which is why I asked to see you."

"Go on."

"Sir, when I went to the Seahawk to follow up on Lt. Singer's investigation of the flight deck mishap, I found her reports and interviews thorough and well conducted. She recommended an unwise course of action, given that it was on a carrier at sea during wartime, but with experience and guidance, she will learn to make better decisions."

"And are you willing to give her that guidance, Commander?"

"Yes, sir, if she returns to JAG HQ."

"I don't have another opening that would be appropriate for her right now, so I'll assign her here until something comes up. And I'll keep your recommendation in mind. But I will be watching her. I don't tolerate screw ups."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"You may not want to thank me after you've been partnered with her on a few cases, Commander. That'll be all."

"Aye, sir," and Harm left the office.

Lt. Singer was waiting near Tiner's desk as Harm exited the Admiral's office. Harm wished her a pleasant good morning and proceeded to his office. After announcing her, Tiner told her the Admiral would see her.

Coming to attention in front of the Admiral's desk, Loren waited for him to acknowledge her. The Admiral was reading something and it was a minute before he told her to stand at ease. No point in making her too comfortable. "Have a chair, Lieutenant. What can I do for you?"

"I am requesting to be returned to active duty. Here is the doctor's release and my paperwork."

"You changed your mind about the baby?"

"It wasn't my choice, sir. I lost … her."

When he heard the catch in Loren's voice, AJ softened a bit. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Sir, I'd like to say one thing?"

"Go ahead."

"I heard that my refusal to identify the father of my child caused some unfortunate speculation. For the record, sir, the father was Sergei Zuhkov. It happened the night before he returned to Russia."

"Very well. Thank you for clearing that up. … You'll be assigned right here until something else comes along." He glanced at the papers she had given him. "Looks like you're ready to go to work. Report for duty on Monday."

"Yes, sir."

"Lieutenant, Commander Rabb told me that your investigation and interviews on the Seahawk were thorough and well done. The problem was the conclusions you reached. He seems to think that with guidance and experience, similar problems won't occur. On appropriate cases, I'll be assigning you to work with him. Don't do anything to make me or him regret that."

"I'll do my best not to, sir," she responded eagerly.

"All right. Dismissed."

Loren left the Admiral's office and paused to look around the bullpen. All eyes were turned her way. Across the room she spotted Harriett. Ignoring all others, she walked toward her. When she was close enough, Harriett greeted her, "Good morning, Lieutenant."

"Lieutenant Sims, I .." Loren began in a low voice so the entire bullpen wouldn't hear their conversation. "I wanted to thank you for trying to help me when I came to see you. My baby is gone but it wasn't my choice. I had planned to have the baby and place her through an open adoption. The decision felt right and you helped me see that."

Harriett was immediately sympathetic. "Oh, Loren, I'm so sorry. … If you ever want to talk …"

"Thank you. I'll be back to active duty here beginning Monday and I might take you up on that." Loren then turned and walked toward the elevators.

**Monday**

**Staff Briefing**

**JAG HQ**

All officers, including Lt. Singer, were assembled in the conference room. The Admiral had told Mac that Singer would be returning to duty today. Very briefly, he told Mac that Singer had lost the baby, that she had identified the father, that it had been no one in the military, and that she would be assigned to JAG HQ for now.

Mac remembered her joy when Singer had been reassigned to sea duty. While she tried to be sympathetic to the other woman's recent loss, Mac hated having her back in the office, particularly since her circumstances were the reason for the latest disagreement between Mac and Harm. It had been weeks since the incident and Mac couldn't get past Harm's cool, strictly professional attitude toward her. It didn't help Mac's mood this morning when Harm flashed Loren his famous smile with a friendly "welcome back." Mac's personal reflection ended as the Admiral walked into the conference room.

The Admiral noted Lt. Singer's return to JAG HQ, then proceeded to hand out assignments. One of the new cases was of a Lt. Cmdr accused of beating up a local drug dealer and the Navy officer had been accused of dealing drugs himself. There was enough evidence for an Article 32 hearing. The Admiral assigned Commander Turner to prosecute and Commander Rabb to defend. Tracy Manetti was assigned second chair for the prosecution and Loren Singer second chair for the defense. Mac's eyebrows raised and she looked at Harm in surprise. Harm didn't meet her glance and his expression showed no surprise at the assignment.

After dismissing the meeting, Admiral Chegwidden asked Mac to stay behind. When the conference room was empty, he began, "Colonel, as chief of staff I should have told you one additional item of information at your earlier briefing. Commander Rabb seems to believe Lt. Singer, with guidance and experience, can be a very good lawyer. I'll be assigning the Lt. to work with Rabb as the cases seem appropriate."

Without thinking, Mac asked, "Family loyalty, sir?"

When the Admiral looked up in surprise, Mac stammered, "Ah .. I .. ah assume Sergei was … ."

With a grunt, AJ confirmed Mac's suspicion, "I should have known you'd figure out that the Commander's brother was the father of Singer's baby. I just hope Harm knows what he's getting himself into." The Admiral sighed.

"So do I, sir."

As Mac settled back in the chair behind her desk, she knew something had to be done about the situation between herself and Harm. In the weeks since his angry revelation, Mac's emotions had swung from joyousness, knowing he did love her, to black depression from the thought that her hesitation .. no, her refusal to talk .. might have killed his love and there truly was no chance to work things out between them. But she was too close to the situation. Harriett had been a good friend through the years, but she had enough of her own problems with Bud's injury.

There was only one person to whom she had admitted her feelings for Harm. She walked across the bullpen and leaned on Sturgis' doorway. When he looked up, she said, a bit hesitantly, "Sturgis, I need a friend to talk to about something personal. Could we .. could we meet somewhere after work?"

"Of course, Colonel. When and where?"

"McMurphy's? If we're both in the office at the end of the day, we can stop by after work. Otherwise, I'll meet you there at 1800."

"Okay, Mac. See you later."

She returned to her office to work on some of her cases. With the prospect of being able to talk to someone, Mac already felt a sense of relief. But a short while later she glanced out her office door and saw Harm with Lt. Singer in tow headed toward the elevators. Though her head told her that, number one, it was entirely unfounded, and number two, she had no right to feel this way, she felt a stab of jealousy. Let's face it, MacKenzie. You envy Lt. Singer being with Harm on this case, when you want to be working with him instead. She sighed and returned attention to her files.

**Monday**

**1745 EST**

**JAG HQ**

Sturgis appeared at Mac's door just as she was closing the last file she intended to work on today. Glancing up, she smiled a greeting. "Great timing. I'm just getting ready to leave."

"I'll walk you to your car."

As Mac left the office with Sturgis, she noticed that Harm and Loren had not returned. Their investigation must have taken them out of town. She could have asked where they were, but she didn't really need to know and didn't feel comfortable appearing to be checking up on Harm.

True to his statement, Sturgis escorted Mac to her car, then walked across the parking lot to his own car. A few minutes later they walked into McMurphy's together. By mutual, unspoken agreement, they found a quiet booth in the back corner. As Mac slipped into the booth, Sturgis went to the bar to get drinks for them. Minutes later he returned with two Virgin Mary's.

They sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes. When Mac didn't speak, Sturgis prompted, "Talk to me, Mac."

With a sigh, Mac stared at her drink as she stirred it. Not looking up, she spoke softly. "I'm not sure just where to begin. This time maybe it's easier to start at the end .. you are probably well aware that recently there has been more than the usual tension between Harm and me." She hesitated and glanced up for Sturgis to acknowledge her statement.

With a slight smile, he agreed, "That's probably an understatement, but go on."

Mac looked away again and continued, "You know more about my personal feelings than either of us probably wants you to, and I'm going to tell you more because I need to talk to a friend to help me work out this latest problem. .. Without going into too many details, someone came to me a few weeks ago and presented a circumstantial case that Harm was the father of Lt. Singer's baby."

Sturgis raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I heard the rumors, of course, but I thought it was just office gossip."

"For a brief time, it appeared to be more than gossip. Because I'm chief of staff, someone gave me the information. I myself had observed Harm's reaction to Singer's pregnancy and was surprised that he continually defended her investigation of the flight deck incident on the Seahawk. When he found out she was pregnant, his whole attitude toward her seemed to change. On a personal level, I didn't believe the evidence for an instant, but as chief of staff, I had to talk to him about it." Mac stared across the room as she remembered that terrible scene in her office.

Having observed Harm's angry exit from Mac's office at what he now suspected was the end of that discussion, he asked sympathetically, "It didn't go well?"

Mac grimaced slightly and continued, "He didn't deny it. He just sat there and wouldn't look at me. He looked so damn guilty .. that I thought .. just for an instant .. I thought …and I … I said, 'what about your career?' … and then I said 'what about .. us?'"

She took a calming breath. "For you to understand where we are now, you need to know some of our history. Harm and I have danced on the edge of our feelings for years. Several years ago I tried to move us closer and Harm rejected my advances. I was embarrassed, hurt, and I ended up engaged to someone else. Then only a couple of weeks before my wedding, Harm told me he loved me .. oh, not quite that plainly, but I knew. There was no mistaking his feelings. But it was too late. The man I intended to marry was a good man. He would give me the home and family I wanted and I did love him.

"Then Harm's plane went down at sea. Those few hours while we waited for word from the sea rescue operation were the most terrible I've ever experienced. Harm and I had argued just before he left for the carrier. I was angry that he was going flying and might miss my wedding. He said that if I needed him there to make it work, I should reconsider who I was marrying. That hit far too close to the truth. I was angry at him for saying it. I wouldn't accept his apology and refused to wish him luck on his quals. When his plane went down, I felt so much guilt because we had parted in anger. He had promised to be at my wedding and I knew he would do whatever it took to keep that promise. I was so afraid that his promise would cost him his life.

"The wedding obviously was delayed and I just couldn't agree to reschedule it. Harm was in the hospital for two weeks recovering from his injuries and severe hypothermia. I never went to see him alone and even when I was there, his girlfriend was always hanging on him. I also didn't think it would be helpful to Harm's recovery to bring him into my emotional turmoil, even though he was the cause of it.

"A few days after Harm was released from the hospital, Mic, my fiancé, moved out. I needed a friend so badly and I went to Harm. I was at his apartment only a few minutes when Mic called. It was a test .. would I go to him or to Harm .. I failed the test and Mic said he was going back to Australia. I tried to stop him at the airport but he wouldn't even talk to me. I was devastated. My dream of a husband and family had just walked out of my life. I really don't know whether I loved Mic that deeply but it was losing the dream, you know? Anyway, I called Harm again. He knew how upset I was and he practically ordered me to go to him so we could .. 'talk.' How fickle was I? .. crying over one man's leaving and going to another man, ready to fall into his arms.

"When I got to Harm's apartment, it didn't happen. His girlfriend's father had died suddenly and he was comforting her. He was going to Minnesota with her for the funeral. I remember standing in the rain outside his apartment watching him hold her and I could almost physically feel my world shatter.

"When I returned to work, even before Mic left, there were so many questions about rescheduling the wedding and on and on. The day after losing both Mic and Harm, I couldn't take it any longer and I ran. I persuaded the Admiral to let me have an assignment on the Guadalcanal. When Harm came back and found out where I was, he called me. I found excuses not to talk long. I wouldn't return his calls. Finally he came after me, intending to have the long overdue talk about us. I was still hurting and said some cruel things. When he asked what about us, I told him there was no 'us' only he and his girlfriend. I asked him what he would give up to have me. Would he give up his girlfriend, but I walked away before he could answer.

"When I returned to JAG HQ, I built the walls between Harm and me so high that he eventually quit trying. Hence the tension you observed between us. Because of my hurt, my guilt, my fear, I had lost Harm both as the man I love and as a friend."

Mac glanced up at Sturgis who had been listening in fascination to the events that now explained so much more about his two fellow officers and his friends. No comment seemed appropriate so he waited in silence for her to continue.

"I'm sorry for the long ramblings, Sturgis, but now you'll be able to understand what happened a few weeks ago when I asked Harm 'what about us'. He angrily told me there is no 'us' because we never had that 'talk.' He said that if we had talked, he would have told me .. told me that he loved me. But since I was so ready to believe he was guilty, there probably wasn't any hope for us anyway. He said we weren't even friends any longer." As she said this last, a tear slipped down her cheek. She brushed it away impatiently, a flash of memory for the times when Harm had gently wiped tears from her face.

"Sturgis, I just don't know how to repair the damage this time. We've had our ups and downs in the past but we always managed to be friends."

Sturgis had been quickly formulating and then discarding ideas on how to help his friends find their way back to each other. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all this, Mac. Some remarks that Harm has made from time to time make more sense now. We've worked out together a couple of times lately. I think I can say, without betraying Harm's confidence, because he didn't really tell me anything specific, that he's as unhappy as you are about your recent problems. If you'll let me, I would like to try to help. With your permission, I'll talk to Harm. With your long history of misunderstandings, you need an arbitrator," he smiled. "I will ask you to release me from one promise, though. That's the promise not to reveal how you feel about him."

When Mac started to protest, Sturgis continued, "I'll be discreet, Mac. I'm not going to tell him 'she loves you, you dumb ass, go kiss and make up!', though that might be the most effective."

Mac chuckled at the idea, and said thoughtfully, "Yes, that might be the most effective.." Sharing all of this with a friend had improved Mac's spirits enormously. The problems between her and Harm no longer seemed insurmountable. She smiled at Turner and laid her hand on his arm. "Thanks for being my friend, Sturgis. Just talking about all this has given me hope that we might be able to work things out yet."

Sturgis briefly covered her hand with his. "That's what friends do, you know." He sat back. "Ready to head out?"

End Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Spoilers: Measure of Men, When the Bough Breaks, Complications, The Mission, Full Engagement, Adrift I & II, and almost anything through mid-season 8.

**Chapter 4**

**Friday**

**1830 EST**

**Harm's apartment**

Harm set his briefcase on the floor and dropped his cover on top of it as he entered his apartment. It had been a long week. The case he and Lt. Singer were working on was more complex than it originally appeared but they had made good progress. He smiled a bit to himself. Working with Loren had not always been easy. She hadn't lost all of her prickly arrogance, but she was working on turning it into less abrasive confidence. She was very closed about sharing anything personal. In fact, after realizing what a private person Loren was, he understood how difficult it must have been for her discussing her pregnancy and her loss with him. Grudgingly, he found himself admiring her. The thought came to him that Loren reminded him a bit of Mac when they had first met .. prickly, aggressive, private. He grinned. Mac would kill him if she knew he was comparing her to Singer.

Thinking about Mac brought back the feelings of loss and sadness that were ever present since he and Mac had argued several weeks ago. She had no faith in him. He remembered her once saying that he had no faith in her .. during one of their many scraps. Many scraps .. yes, they had always bantered, bickered, and argued. Usually it was about a case or something that could be forgotten and forgiven. But over the years, each confrontation seemed to escalate. They had inflicted real pain on each other, sometimes intentionally.

Was this the end? Was it better just to let it go? Long term, they probably couldn't continue to work together. It would just be too painful. They both had options, but he wouldn't be unhappy to leave Washington. Perhaps it was time to discuss with the Admiral the possibility of a transfer.

Harm was making himself a meal when Sturgis called, wondering whether Harm had plans for Saturday. Harm had planned to take his Stearman up and do some thinking. As he said as much to Turner, Harm suddenly realized that he had never invited Sturgis to go flying. Deciding some company would be fun, the invitation was made and accepted.

**Saturday**

**1000 EST**

**Private airfield**

**Leesburg, Virginia**

Harm had given Sturgis instructions to the airfield where Sarah was kept. When Sturgis arrived, Harm already had her pulled out of the hangar and was running through the preflight checks. They greeted each other and then Sturgis stood watching Harm systematically and meticulously check controls, wires, switches, lines and hoses on the bi-plane.

"I'm impressed, Harm. I know pilots need to conduct preflight checks, but this seems really involved," Sturgis finally commented.

"Can't be too careful when taking a friend flying, Sturgis. The first time I took Mac, a split gas line forced us to make an emergency landing. We ran across murderous poachers while trying to find help. They shot Mac, she stabbed one of them to death when he tried to rape her, we spent a cold night together in the Virginia mountains, her wound got infected, and we barely escaped with our lives. I learned the hard way to check everything at least three times."

"You know, Harm, things seem to happen when you're around," Sturgis chuckled.

Harm looked up from his checklist with a grin. "A RIO I was going to be flying a mission with said something like that after hearing about some of my aviation incidents. On our mission, ground fire took out one of our Tomcat's engines and we made a single engine carrier landing. Afterwards, she asserted that things do happen when I'm around." He suddenly sobered. "Maybe it's Harmful Rabb's Law," he added gloomily.

"I doubt it, Buddy. For a bubblehead to go up in a bi-plane means I really trust you, Harm. I'm not worried."

Harm finished reviewing his checklist and said, "Okay, let's go."

Soon they were high over the Virginia countryside. After making sure Sturgis was ready, Harm took Sarah through a series of loops, climbs and dives. Sturgis had always believed that flying was just a fast way to get from one place to another. It held little appeal for a submariner. But now he found himself laughing with the thrill of the aerial maneuvers.

When they finally landed some time later, Sturgis felt pure joy in the beauty of the day and the fun of flying with a friend. Looking over at Harm as he climbed down, Sturgis understood why his friend went flying when he was troubled. Harm was ginning and looked more relaxed than Sturgis had seen him in weeks.

"So, Sturgis, can a bubblehead learn to enjoy the sky?" Harm asked though he could clearly see that Turner had had fun.

"Let's just say I'm beginning to understand the attraction of flying."

Together they made sure that the plane was in the hangar and any gear stowed. When they were getting ready to leave the airfield, Harm suggested, "Sturgis, there's a locally owned café in a little town a few miles from here. Great home cooked meals. You interested?"

"Absolutely. Lead on."

A short while later, the two friends were seated in a booth of the small café that didn't appear to have changed in forty years. Their meals had been served and devoured. Sturgis finally sat back and sighed. "Wow, that was great, Harm. And thanks for taking me flying."

"Glad to, Sturg. It was a good time."

After a moment, Harm continued on a different subject. "You served at several JAG offices before you got to Washington. Any preferences?"

Sturgis responded thoughtfully, "Well, I was always partial to Pearl. Hawaii is beautiful. San Diego was good, too. I'm a sucker for a good climate… Any particular reason you're asking?"

"I've been in Washington eight years. I think it's time for a change."

"Have you talked to the Admiral?"

"Not yet. I plan to on Monday. Transfers don't usually happen overnight so I want to get the ball rolling."

"Is there a reason for your interest in transferring now?" Sturgis probed.

"I told you, I think it's time for a change." Harm said a bit defensively.

"So it has nothing to do with this latest falling out between you and Mac?"

Harm sighed and hesitated before responding. He had known Sturgis a long time .. since Annapolis .. and they were good friends. Though Sturgis could be a bit self-righteous and judgmental at times, Harm valued his opinion. It would feel good to talk to someone about Mac.

When Harm spoke again, he acknowledged the accuracy of his friend's question. "Whatever was between Mac and me .. and I don't even know exactly what it was .. it's gone." His gaze became distant. "You know, when we were first assigned together, I kept seeing Diane. But it didn't take long for me to see Mac as completely her own person. She's not like Diane at all. After a few rough spots in the beginning, we were great partners. We just clicked. We could count on each other, no matter what. She followed me to Russia .. twice. I probably would have been killed trying to find my father if she hadn't been with me to watch my six. And I've pulled her green Marine butt out of a few scrapes, too. We'd tease each other, banter and bicker, but we stayed good friends.

"Then I learned that laser surgery might cure my night blindness. Mac's father was dying and she was away from Washington. By the time she got back, I had had successful surgery and was exploring the possibility of changing my designator back to aviator. I thought she would understand, but she didn't. She was hurt that I hadn't told her about the surgery until it was over. She had just lost her father, though they weren't close. Her mother, who had abandoned her at 15, showed up briefly. And her little sister, through the Big Sister program, was leaving to live with her grandparents. When she found out I was leaving, Mac felt like everyone she cared about was going away. At the time, I was too focused on getting back in the air to understand that she must have felt abandoned again.

"I was gone for six months and when I came back to JAG, everything was different. It took a long time for me to fit in again and I don't think Mac ever really forgave me for leaving. Mic Brumby, an exchange lawyer from the Australian Navy, and Mac had gotten really close. Brumby was there before I left .. he actually tried to convict Mac of murder .. I never expected Mac to take up with him."

Harm paused his narrative, staring at his spoon as he made aimless patterns with it on the tablecloth. "We've had our ups and downs, Mac and I. Each time the split goes a little deeper and each time we never quite get back to where we were before it happened. This time it's irreparable."

"You're sure about that?"

Harm looked up at his friend. "Sturgis, she accused me of being the father of Singer's baby. After all these years, she doesn't even trust me any more. There was a time when she wouldn't have believed it for an instant, but now …" He ran is hand through his hair in frustration. "And do you know the saddest part? I thought I was in love with her. How can I feel like I've lost something that I never had and never really existed? I need to forget the past and get myself squared away. That's the real reason why I'm going to request a transfer. I can't put the past behind me when I come face to face with it every day."

Sturgis listened to his friend with growing dismay. He'd been sure it would just take some prodding and the former partners would see that their future was with each other. 'I guess I'm too much of a romantic,' Sturgis thought to himself. 'Who would have guessed? Now what? This is more complicated than I realized. But I should have known. Harm never did anything the easy way.'

"Harm, are you sure Mac was accusing you, or was she doing her job as chief of staff and discussing the situation with you because she had information that seemed to point to you?" Sturgis asked quietly.

Harm gave him a sharp look. "What information?"

"I don't know, but there was something. Think about it. Mac wouldn't have said anything if it was just office scuttlebutt."

"How do you know? Have you been talking to her?" Harm's tone was accusatory and slightly hurt.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, she's told me some things. She's a friend, Harm, and she needed to talk. She doesn't have many people she can talk to about things that are really troubling her, you know."

Harm hung his head sadly. "It used to be me. She and I could talk about anything… You sure you don't know what information she thought she had?"

"I don't, but she said you didn't deny it .. that you looked guilty."

"The baby was my brother Sergei's. I suspected it as soon as I heard Loren was pregnant, but she wouldn't name the father. On the way back from the Seahawk, Loren told me she planned to have an abortion. I tried to talk her out of it, but I didn't think I had gotten through. Then she requests leave because she plans to have the baby. I confronted her about her plans and she told me she was going to give it up for adoption. This child was family and I didn't intend to let her do that. I had been toying with the idea of claiming to be the father to delay the adoption, but that would have gotten me prosecuted on fraternization charges. I was trying to work all of this out when Mac told me that she had information that seemed to indicate I might be the baby's father. I didn't respond immediately because that was the very claim I had been thinking about. She took it as guilt, I guess." He sighed. "In retrospect, I guess it was a logical conclusion … but there was a time when she would have asked me what was going on .. not just assumed I was guilty." He finished plaintively.

"So you finally denied it and stormed out of her office?" Sturgis prompted, even though Mac had told him some of what happened.

"Oh, there was more. Mac looked so hurt. Then she asked what about us. .. You might as well know, Sturgis, that even though I've denied it to you and everyone else, even myself, there is a history between Mac and me. We were never lovers, but we were something more than friends. She once tried to take our friendship to a more intimate level and I wasn't ready. It didn't happen and she ended up engaged to Brumby. Then just before her wedding, I violated every code of honor I have always believed in. I made it pretty clear to her that I loved her and I .. I kissed her.

"We got past that, too, and acted as though nothing had changed. When I left to do my quals the day before her wedding, she was angry that I would take a chance on missing her wedding. I promised her I would be there and I nearly died trying to keep that promise. A lot of things happened about that time. Our friendship has never been the same since. And now .. well, like I said, I think it's time for me to transfer out."

Sturgis realized he was playing a dangerous game here with his two friends' emotions and future happiness. If he said the wrong thing, he could make things worse .. though he wasn't sure how it could be worse between Harm and Mac. If Sturgis told Harm that Mac had told him she loved Harm, Harm might be angry that Mac had admitted it to Sturgis and not to Harm, but then it was an unintentional slip. Maybe the direct approach with Harm was best.

"Harm, would it make a difference if you knew that Mac is in love with you?"

Harm sat up and stared at his friend in surprise.

The direct approach, Sturgis told himself. When Harm didn't respond, he asked, "Are you in love with her?"

Harm's eyes widened in even greater surprise. Finally he stammered, "Counselor, that's irrelevant."

"Irrelevant!" Sturgis burst out. "That's the only thing that is relevant! Call me an optimist, but it seems to me that if you two love each other and can admit it, you can work out the rest." Sturgis tone carried the intensity of his feelings.

"Do you have reason to believe she's in love with me?"

"Her own statement."

"She said that?" Harm's surprise and skepticism was evident.

"Okay, it slipped out in an unguarded moment. But she didn't deny it, she only made me promise to keep it confidential."

"So you're violating her trust now?" Harm was beginning to sound angry.

"No. I told you, she talked to me because she's upset about this latest falling out between the two of you. I asked her permission to try to help and I also asked her permission to tell you how she feels." Sturgis grinned. "I told her I wouldn't say this, but sometimes the direct approach is best. She's in love with you, you dumb ass, now go kiss and make up."

Harm made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a snort. "I wish it were that easy, buddy."

"And why isn't it?"

"Well,.. she'd … it would …ah …" Harm's voice trailed away. After a couple of seconds, he asked, "could it really be that easy?"

"One last piece of advice. Tell her you want to have that talk. I think she's ready to listen. Meet at a neutral location .. neither of your apartments. And agree at the beginning that neither of you leave unless the other gives permission. That way, hopefully you'll have to continue talking if one of you still has something to say."

"You sound like a fight promoter or a marriage counselor. Just how many career changes have you made, old friend?" Harm grinned.

"I had a little family counseling at Reverend Turner's side when I was younger. The rest is just common sense, I hope. You'll figure it out if you try, Harm."

"I hope so." Harm glanced at his watch. "We should be getting back to Washington."

In the café parking lot they each walked to their own car. Before getting in his Vette, Harm said, "Sturgis, thanks for listening and for the advice. I'll let you know if it works."

"Good luck, Harm. You and Mac deserve happiness. I hope you can work things out."

With that, the friends parted and drove back to Washington separately.

End Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Spoilers: Measure of Men, When the Bough Breaks, Complications, The Mission, Full Engagement, Adrift I & II, and almost anything through mid-season 8.

**Chapter 5**

If it had not been for Harm's exceptional driving skills and reaction times related to his expertise as an F-14 pilot, he would have been a hazard on the highway during the drive back to Washington. His mind was definitely not on driving his Vette. It was on Sarah MacKenzie. There were so many times when they had been so close. Yes, as friends. But sometimes it really felt like more. But, by mutual, unspoken agreement, they had stopped short of any romantic involvement. Except in Australia. Where would they be now if he had not been so paralyzed with uncertainty when Mac asked him how long they were going to wait.

His thoughts continued until he realized that they were just bits of "what if's" about past events. He brought his attention back to the present and focused on the immediate future. If he planned this as a mission.. arrange location.. rehearse his plea .. perhaps he could finally break down the defenses of his Marine. Or perhaps he was over-thinking this...

By the time he arrived back at his apartment, he decided that he couldn't just pick up the phone and arrange a meeting to have "the talk." Mac might refuse. But if he wanted to meet for something they often did together, like their morning run in the park, that might work. He didn't plan on just launching into "the talk" during their run, but a strategy was beginning to take form. Without further delay, he picked up the phone and hit the button to speed dial Mac.

Mac answered on the second ring.

"Mac, it's me."

There was a noticeable pause before she responded cautiously, "Hello, Harm."

Trying desperately to get some of their old banter back, he said, "You know, since we haven't been working out together, I've gotten really lazy. Would you be interested in running together tomorrow morning?"

Mac's voice was a bit strained as she responded, but she too was clearly trying to recapture their old style. "You mean you're going to give a Marine a chance to once again kick your Squid six?"

Harm grinned. "No, let's save the kick boxing for another day. Tomorrow you can _try_ to run me into the ground."

"That shouldn't be too difficult as long as we both stay away from cars." Mac smiled as she responded, referring to an encounter with a car early in their partnership that had put Harm in a hospital taken over by terrorists.

"0600 tomorrow .. meet you at the usual place."

"I'll be there."

Mac replaced the phone and steadied her breathing. Damn, she missed that man! These last weeks of only cool professional contact had been difficult, but she hadn't realized just how much she missed Harm's friendship until now when there seemed to be a chance of renewing it. And where would they end up this time? As just friends? Or could they even get back the friendship. Harm said he didn't think they were even friends any more because she didn't trust him. How to handle that? Bring it out and discuss it or let the past lie and see what the future brings?

Her sleep was restless .. filled with dreams of Harm and her arguing, of Harm in the arms of other women, of Harm being tossed about in an angry, cold ocean, and finally of a man dying on a dark street. She was leaning close to hear his whispered last words. It was Dalton Lowne and she told him she loved him and always would. Then suddenly it wasn't Dalton but Harm lying there dying, and she meant every word of her declaration of love. As Harm in her dreams died in her arms, Mac came awake with a start. She was sweating and crying. It took a few seconds to realize it was only a dream, no doubt spurred on by her anticipation and anxiety over seeing him this morning.

Her internal clock told her it was 0438 .. she didn't need to get up yet, but she wouldn't sleep again .. didn't want to if it meant more of those disturbing dreams. She took a shower, made sure her hair looked good, and laid out her running clothes. It was too early to leave for the park but she was restless. Pacing around her apartment, she thought about what kind of a relationship she wanted with Harm, if indeed, this was the beginning of a reconciliation. She wanted their friendship back, of course, but that wouldn't be enough. She wanted it all, but could they find a way to do that without losing other things that were important to them, specifically career opportunities. It was a matter of priorities. While she loved JAG .. it was where she belonged, she once told the Admiral .. she would transfer out in an instant if it meant that she and Harm could be together. She realized she had never been so sure of that in the past.

After letting her mind conjure wonderful images of a future with Harm, she pulled herself back to the present. 'Slow down, Marine,' she told herself. 'It's only a run in the park. Don't get your hopes up .. but he did say he loved me …'

It was finally time to drive to the park. Mac grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

Harm was at the park early. He had had trouble sleeping. Thoughts of lost opportunities kept whirling through this mind, even during sleep. He couldn't relax because so much depended on the next few hours and days.

As Mac pulled into the parking lot adjacent to the running trail, she saw Harm casually leaning against his Vette. If she hadn't known him so well, she would have thought he was completely relaxed. But she did know him and she could spot the tension in his body .. the slight caution in his otherwise brilliant smile as he greeted her.

Stepping out of the car, she couldn't help but run her eyes over his muscular body. "So, Sailor, you've gotten lazy, huh? I think you're just trying to psych me into going easy. You look pretty good to me." And with that provocative statement, she turned away to begin her stretching and warm-up routine.

Any response Harm could make would be either too flirtatious or too casual so he opted for silence while he also went through his warm-up. Without words, each knew when the other was ready to begin to run, and they turned toward the trail. For awhile they ran in silence, but then began discussing their current cases. It was like old times, discussing questions from the investigations, strategies, points of law.

Later they lapsed into a more comfortable silence. As they reached the last mile, they began slowing their pace. Harm glanced toward Mac and noticed a satisfied smile on her lips. "What's the smile for? You didn't run me into the ground, you know." Harm asked.

"I just decided to go easy on you today, Flyboy. Don't expect the same treatment forever," Mac responded pertly.

Harm grinned. She hadn't used that nickname for him for a long time. He hoped it was a signal that they could get back to the way things used to be. But he didn't want things to be the way they were .. it was enough for now but he vowed not to allow the status quo to continue for long.

When they reached their cars, each was unsure of the next move. A long beautiful Sunday stretched ahead of them. Neither one wanted to spend it alone but it was awkward finding a reason to spend it together. When it appeared that the opportunity would be lost if neither spoke, Harm asked tentatively, "You have plans for today?"

"Nothing special. It's such a great early spring day that I thought I'd do something outdoors."

"How about this. We each go home and clean up. I'll buy you breakfast and by that time the National Zoo will be open. They have some new exhibits."

Mac smiled up at him happily. "I'd love that, Harm. Since you're feeding me, I'll pick you up .. 0830?"

"Right. See you later."

Mac drove home with a happiness in her heart like she hadn't felt for a long time. She practically skipped into her apartment. As she stripped off her sweaty clothes and stepped into the shower, she admitted to herself how much she had missed Harm. These last few weeks when he was treating her with cool professionalism had been bleak. Now she was happily anticipating several more hours in his company. She would do everything in her power to win back his friendship. But this time she wanted more than friendship. She couldn't rush it, but her mind was made up. Harmon Rabb was hers and she was his. She just had to convince him of that.

Mac pulled her Vette to the curb in front of Harm's apartment building at 0829 to find him just stepping out the street door. The smile he flashed her made her knees go weak and she was glad she was already seated. As he slid into the car beside her, she greeted him cheerfully, "Hey, Flyboy."

A few blocks away, Mac parked near a coffee and bagel shop that they had frequented in friendlier days. The shop also had a selection of gooey pastries to satisfy Mac's more indulgent tastes while providing several kinds of healthful bagels which Harm preferred. This morning, however, Mac chose a bagel as well. The butterflies in her stomach didn't seem to want sugar to enflame them further. Harm raised his eyebrows at her choice but remained silent as they carried their breakfast to a small table on the sidewalk to take full advantage of the unusually warm spring day.

Suddenly they were uncertain again. Each picked at their food until finally Mac took a deep breath and, without looking at Harm, began tentatively, "Harm, I've missed you. I missed this .. " she waved her hand vaguely to indicate their breakfast together. "We've had good times and bad times in our .. friendship since we became partners. The bad times are awful .. like the past few weeks. I want to clear the air so there are no more misunderstandings about the past or the present."

Slightly nervous about what was to be discussed, Harm answered simply, "Okay," and let Mac continue.

"Harm, I wasn't accusing you of being the father of Singer's baby. I had a job to do as Chief of Staff. Apparently you had been observed in an intense conversation with Lt. Singer the day she came to see the Admiral to request leave. The next evening you were overheard in an argument with her during which you demanded custody of the baby. When you and I flew out to the Seahawk, you were defending her to me. The information I had was more than scuttlebutt, Harm, and you showed up at my office door before I had fully decided how to approach you. Then you didn't deny it .. you just looked guilty .. and I was suddenly so hurt and jealous that I thought, just for an instant, that it might be true. I'm not trying to excuse the lapse in my trust of you, but I hope you can understand my need to act on the information I had. And I had to inform the Admiral for the same reasons.

"It took me a few hours to figure out that Sergei was probably the father, but by then the damage was done. We're so good at building walls between us and this time I couldn't find a way to scale yours."

Harm nodded thoughtfully. "Mac, I understand. With the information you had, you could do nothing else. At first, Loren wouldn't admit who the father was. She told me she was planning to have an abortion. Then she shows up at HQ to request leave to have the baby. Those conversations that were observed were my attempts to learn her plans for the child. When she told me she planned to put the baby up for adoption, I told her I'd stop her. As an alternative, I told her to give the baby to me, but she refused.

"I had been trying to find a way to stop her from giving up the child, and one idea was for me to claim I was the father. It would delay the adoption until after the baby was born. Of course, a paternity test would show I wasn't the father, and by that time I would have been court martialed and dishonorably discharged for fraternization, so it probably wasn't a good option. And there you were, asking me if I were the father. I hesitated, still trying to work out if there was some way to use the idea to keep the baby. It must have looked like guilt to you."

"All right, I'm glad that's cleared up."

"You know, I don't want to talk about Loren more than necessary today, but in her defense, she was investigating the possibility of an open adoption where both the baby's natural and adoptive families would be involved in her life. She confirmed that Sergei was the father and that the baby was a girl. She was really hurting from losing the baby. Under all that ice, there just might be a human being after all. That's why I asked to have her assigned to some of my cases. She's a good lawyer but she needs to mellow a bit."

Mac smiled at him. "One of the things I've always admired about you is that when you believe in someone, you'll make every effort to help them. If you believe Singer deserves your help, I'll try to keep an open mind.

Mac drew a steadying breath, knowing the next part would be more difficult. "All right, next .." Mac continued. "You said there was no 'us' because we never had the talk you promised. And you're right. .. about the talk, that is. I think we're about to have it .. and I need to know .. whether what you said in anger was true .. about .. about letting go?" She kept her eyes lowered, afraid she would see rejection and denial if she looked at him.

Harm leaned closer and took her small strong hand in his large one as he began to speak. "Sarah, I meant every word about my feelings. I had always imagined saying it the first time like this, and not in anger. I am ready to let go. I'm in love with you, and I want to find a way for us to be together."

Mac looked at him then, her eyes shining. She breathed the words softly, "Oh, Harm, that's what I want, too." She began to lean closer to kiss him when she remembered that they were in a public restaurant. "Can we take this … conversation to a more private location?"

"My apartment is the closest."

"Okay, let's go."

When they reached Mac's car, she hesitated, then turned back to Harm and handed him her keys. "Even my steel Marine nerves can't quite cope at the moment. I hope your fighter pilot nerves are up to driving."

"If that's the only way to get us to my apartment, you bet I can drive," Harm grinned, and he held the passenger door open for her.

In a few minutes they were parking outside of Harm's apartment. Once inside, Harm gently drew Mac into his embrace and held her quietly, content for the moment to bury his face in her fragrant hair and feel her body molded against the length of his. Mac wrapped her arms around his waist and held tight. After a moment she sighed contentedly and said softly, "This feels so wonderful. I thought it would never happen."

Harm raised his head and leaned back so he could look into her eyes. "Neither did I," and lowered his lips to hers. The kiss, so long anticipated, began softly, comfortingly, but the years of waiting quickly turned into passion. Mac's lips parted, welcoming Harm's exploring tongue. As passion rose, their breathing quickened. Harm left her lips to kiss her jaw line and the long column of her neck, but soon returned to exploring the sweetness of her mouth. As Mac tightened her lips around his tongue and sucked, Harm felt his body respond physically to his desire. With a regretful murmur, he pulled back, attempting to control his breathing. "I'm not sure this is a good idea .."

"Are you backing out again, sailor," Mac asked in exasperation.

"I just don't want to rush you. Yesterday we were barely speaking to each other and now I want nothing more than to make love to you. Maybe we should slow down .."

"Harm, you're not rushing me. If you want to take it slow, we will. But, God, Harm, we've had seven years of foreplay. All I want to do is drag you to bed and have my way with your body." And to prove her point, she ran her hands down his back to grasp his firm butt.

Harm laughed joyously. "I know better than to try to deter my Marine when she makes up her mind," he said as he pulled her up the stairs to his bed.

They fell onto the bed and into each others arms. Their love making alternated between hurried removal of an article of clothing and slowly exploring the newly discovered treasure .. touching, kissing, tasting. As Harm slowly kissed and fondled Mac's generous and now bare breasts, she groaned as her body tightened to near orgasm. Removal of Harm's shirt allowed Mac to spread her open hands over his muscles and tweak his nipples.

Finally they had disposed of all clothing and were enjoying full access to what they had so long fantasized about. Mac's soft hand slipped around Harm's erection. In her late night fantasies, she had imagined his size. He did not disappoint her. She heard his quick intake of breath as she moved her hand up his length. After a few more strokes, he reached down and moved her hand away. "Sarah, it's been awhile and I want .. I don't want it to end that way."

"Agreed," she whispered as her lips kissed their way down his rippling abs. She looked up the length of his body provocatively and asked, "I suppose I can't do that either?" then licked her lips and turned her eyes toward her goal.

He reached down and gently pulled her upward to indulge in a hungry kiss. "Not this time," he responded in the same whispered tone.

She was lying fully on top of him and she rubbed her body against his. Suddenly he hooked his leg over hers and rolled both of them over so she was pressed into the bed by his long athletic body. His erection pressed just at the entrance to the moist warmth between her legs. With a moan, she tried to move downward to take him into her. "Please, Harm, I want you in me now," she begged.

He gently pressed into her, easing inward and then withdrawing slightly, until she had taken his entire length. She was very tight and he was very large. She felt herself stretch with exquisite pain as she tightened her arms to pull him closer. Lifting her legs and wrapping them behind his back, she allowed him even deeper penetration. As he buried his face in her neck, she threw back her head and moaned. "My god, Harm, you feel so incredible."

"Sarah, I love you," he whispered as he began to move. Every nerve in her body seemed hyper sensitive to his touch and she felt her body coil tightly in a powerful orgasm. Her pulsing muscles brought his release an instant later.

They lay wrapped tightly in each other's arms as their bodies, limb by limb, relaxed into a euphoric contentment. Mac was drifting toward sleep when Harm shifted slightly and propped himself up on one elbow. He raised his hand and lightly trailed his fingers down her cheek and across her lips. She gazed at him with passion laden eyes. "I think the earth moved." She said happily.

"I think it definitely moved." Harm agreed, as he lowered his lips to hers. Just as the kiss ended, Mac's stomach growled. Both began laughing.

"You better feed me, Flyboy. Else I won't have the strength to do this again." Mac teased.

Slowly Harm rolled off the bed and grabbed a well worn sweat suit from a nearby shelf. He tossed the shirt to Mac and pulled on the pants. "Don't put too many clothes on. They'll just get removed later." He instructed as he went down the stairs to find something for their lunch.

Over sandwiches (Harm managed to find a can of tuna as he told Mac he hadn't anticipated having a carnivore for lunch today) and salads, Mac brought up a subject that they both knew had to be discussed. "What about tomorrow, Harm?"

"Well, we're not violating the rules against fraternization since we're both of the same rank. And we're both disciplined enough not to let our relationship interfere with the good order and discipline of the office .. that's what the Admiral will be concerned with."

"We need to tell the Admiral."

Harm had never felt comfortable discussing personal topics with his CO and began to object. "Mac, do you think that's necessary? If we don't let our relationship interfere with .."

"Harm, think about it. What if a defendant is unhappy with a decision in a case where you and I oppose each other or where I'm on the bench? The defendant's next lawyer learns about our relationship and can claim the impaired attorney defense .. that we weren't objective .. we made concessions .. and on and on. It could get ugly. We can't put the Admiral in the position of having made those assignments."

"You're right, of course. Though I believe we can continue to be objective in the court room."

"Since when have you been objective in the court room, Harm?" Mac chided.

"Okay, I'll admit it helps if I believe in my case, but I do my job." Harm answered, slightly hurt at Mac's accusation.

Mac quickly realized that their new relationship was still very fragile. She reached across to touch his hand, as she said sincerely, "Yes, you do."

After a minute of silence, Harm spoke again. "We'll have to thank Sturgis."

"He talked to you?"

"We went flying yesterday in Sarah and then we talked over lunch. I would never have had the nerve to call you to go running this morning if he hadn't told me some truths."

"Then we'll definitely have to thank him."

"How do we handle the rest of the officers and staff. Bud and Harriett are friends .. we shouldn't keep secrets from them."

Mac grinned. "I think Harriett will figure it out pretty quickly when she sees us."

"I thought you were so sure we could maintain objectivity in the office."

"Oh, come on, Harm. Friday we were giving anyone who came near the two of us frostbite and tomorrow it's going to be pretty obvious that we are at least friends. I feel like I'm glowing with happiness, and I doubt that I can, nor do I want to, hide that." Mac said decisively.

Harm raised his hand to her cheek. "You are glowing," he said softly.

Mac turned her head to kiss his hand and then continued, "Harriett will tell Bud. That leaves Manetti and Singer. Since you're working so closely with Lt. Singer now, you will want to share with her, I suppose," Mac finished a bit cattily.

"Mac, Loren and I aren't _that_ close. They'll both know soon enough, I'm sure. If we're in a situation where it becomes important for them to know, we'll tell them."

"Agreed. So first thing tomorrow we see the Admiral?"

Harm nodded and then began to grin slyly.

"What?" Mac smiled back.

"Oh, I was just picturing you on the bench, your honor. Somehow it turns me on to think of you in a position of power over me."

"Stop it, Harm. If you ever do appear before me when I'm on the bench, I'll think about that remark and start blushing. It could jeopardize the position and its authority."

Harm reached for her arm and pulled her to her feet and toward him. Wrapping his arms around her, he murmured, "Then we just have to work through this power thing right now so it won't be a problem in the future."

Mac chuckled happily as he led her toward the bedroom.

End Chapter 5

(Chapter 6 is the last one - get a glimpse of happy Harm and Mac at their jobs!)


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Spoilers: Measure of Men, When the Bough Breaks, Complications, The Mission, Full Engagement, Adrift I & II, and almost anything through mid-season 8.

A/N: I always thought that if TPTB had let H&M get together, there could be lots of great interaction between them and between them and the other characters that would be different from their past and very entertaining. Since that didn't happen, we have to use our own imaginations.

**Chapter 6**

**Monday**

**0800 EST**

**JAG HQ**

Mac and Harm had both arrived separately within a few minutes of each other. They had laughed, talked, played and made love most of the afternoon and night before. Mac had gotten up early to return to her apartment to get ready for work. In spite of having only a few hours of sleep, Mac knew there was a bounce in her step and she couldn't quite keep the secret smile off her face.

She was opening her briefcase to get ready for the day when Harm appeared at her door. "Good morning, Colonel," In spite of his formal words, his smile held a message just for her. "You ready to see if the Admiral is available?"

"Good morning, Commander." Mac answered but couldn't let her smile be quite as revealing because she was facing the bullpen. She unconsciously squared her shoulders. "Yes, let's go."

Minutes later they were standing at attention in front of their CO's desk. The Admiral glanced up at them, then looked more closely. Something was different today, but he couldn't identify what it was. "At ease. What did you want to see me about?"

Both officers appeared uncomfortable and didn't seem to know how to begin. Finally, Mac explained tentatively. "Admiral, this weekend a situation developed that we believe you should know about. The Commander and I .. well, we resolved the problems we've been having… And we did such a good job of resolving those problems that now we're .. ah .. we're now much more than friends."

The Admiral sat back in his chair and studied the two officers, hiding a smile. He'd always thought this could happen, but it had been seven years. He'd almost believed it was a situation he wouldn't have to deal with.

"Well, I'm a bit surprised. Last Friday you were giving everyone near you hypothermia and now you're telling me that you're .. a couple? Forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical. Is this serious?"

Harm answered decisively, "Absolutely, sir. Very serious." He glanced sideways and for an instant their eyes met. The look that passed between the officers told AJ everything he needed to know. They had finally worked things out. There were bound to be bumps along the way, but he now had to deal with the situation.

Mac spoke up. "Sir, we believe we can be objective and continue to carry out our duties here at JAG. We thought you should know when making case assignments, that's all."

"And you don't have a problem opposing each other in court?"

"No, sir." Both answered.

AJ sighed. "All right, you're senior officers. I don't have to tell you that I expect appropriate conduct on duty. We'll see how it goes with case assignments." In a more personal tone, he added, "I'm happy for you both. Dismissed."

"Thank you, sir," Harm and Mac answered together, then turned smartly and left the office.

Outside the Admiral's office, Harm turned to Mac and said softly, "I've got a court appearance I have to prepare for. Lunch?"

Mac smiled and nodded. "See you then, Sailor."

Mac sat in her chair staring across her office, not realizing that she was smiling happily as she thought about her sailor. A soft knocking brought her attention back to Harriett, standing in the doorway. Harriett hadn't seen the Colonel look this happy since .. well, maybe never. "Good morning, ma'am. Did you have a good weekend?" she asked innocently.

"Yes, a very good weekend, Harriett."

Harriett stepped further into the office and asked, "Permission to speak freely?"

"Always, Harriett. Close the door."

"Ma'am, I'm guessing it's a man that's put that smile on your face? Someone new?" Harriett bubbled.

Mac met her gaze and smiled softly. "No, Harriett, someone I've known a long time," she answered and unconsciously glanced toward Harm's office.

Harriett's eyes widen and her mouth dropped open. "The Commander?" she could hardly believe it after all these years.

Mac nodded. "Ma'am, I'm so happy for you," Harriett said excitedly. "But .. but last Friday you were …?"

"We had a little help from a friend who knew how I felt about Harm. He talked to Harm and then Harm called me to go running yesterday morning. Later we talked, really talked. I have my best friend back, Harriett, and so much more."

"Will you both be here .. I mean you are opposing counsel in cases. Will that still work?"

"We talked with the Admiral this morning. He'll consider our relationship when making case assignments, but I believe we can be objective in court. We used to do it when we were friends. We'd battle in court, practically shouting, and still walk out of the court room as best friends."

Harriett turned to open the door. "We'd like to have you and the Commander over for dinner one evening soon," she said before opening the door.

"We'll look forward to it, Harriett."

Meanwhile, Harm was in his office, trying his best to concentrate on preparing for the up coming court appearance. It wasn't easy because a certain beautiful dark-haired Marine and their fun-filled Sunday kept invading his thoughts. Just as Harm finally forced himself to focus on the file in front of him, Sturgis appeared in his doorway. "Hey, buddy," Sturgis greeted him cheerily. "Have a good Sunday?"

"Outstanding, Sturgis. I owe you a debt I can never repay." Harm smiled at his friend.

"Just invite me to the wedding and the christenings."

"Whoa, whoa .. we didn't get _that_ far in one day .. but if things continue like yesterday, those events are a distinct possibility."

"So you had the 'talk'?

"I called her Saturday when I got back. Made a date to go running Sunday morning like we used to do. You were right, we were both ready to talk about a lot of things. If not for you, I would never have called her."

"I'm happy for you both. Talk to you later." And with that Sturgis left Harm to his work.

Mac had had a productive morning after she finally was able to concentrate on her work. Somehow it was easier after Harm left for court. Knowing he was in his office just across the bullpen and imaging what she'd like to do to him if there were any privacy in this office had distracted her earlier. Now it was 1158 and he hadn't returned from court. She decided to see whether Sturgis was in his office while she waited for Harm.

When she stopped at his doorway, he was just finishing up a phone call and waved her in. Replacing the receiver, he said, "I understand that you and Harm made some progress this weekend?"

"You could say that. Sturgis, I really want to thank you. Harm and I are both stubborn. No telling how long we would have frozen each other out if you hadn't come to our aid."

"It was partly selfish. Harm and I are friends and it's harder keeping up that friendship if he's half way around the world."

Mac looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"On Saturday, Harm was so bummed out by your split up that he was going to see the Admiral this morning to start the ball rolling for a transfer to Pearl or somewhere equally far away from Washington."

"He didn't tell me that, but we had a lot to talk about. Then I'm doubly glad of your help. It would have been almost impossible to ever get things straight between us if he transferred half way around the world."

As she finished speaking, she felt a light hand on the small of her back and heard a deep husky voice just above her ear saying, "Hey, Marine."

Mac turned to find Harm standing close behind her but only his hand touched her. The military decorum expected by the Admiral allowed nothing more. She wanted to kiss him but knew she couldn't. This might be harder than she thought. Instead she gave him a brilliant smile and said, "Hey, Sailor. You taking me to lunch?"

"If taking you to lunch means buying you lunch, the answer is no. The Navy doesn't pay any more than the Marines. Lunch is still Dutch." Harm said in an attempt at a stern voice.

Mac pretended to pout. "I think you should buy me lunch. You owe me."

"What do I owe you for?"

"Yesterday."

"What exactly?"

"If I told you exactly, I'd make Sturgis blush."

"Mac, behave yourself. You're always feisty when you're hungry. All right, it'll be worth buying you lunch to save us from being court martialed. Care to join us, Sturgis?"

Sturgis had been observing the banter between the two officers with an amused expression. "No, no, I don't want to get in the line of fire. Besides, I'm sure you two want to be alone. Go on now."

The early spring weather continued to be unusually warm so Mac and Harm took their food to a table in the court yard. "How'd it go in court this morning?" Mac decided she better keep with safe subjects.

"Satisfactorily. How was your morning?"

"Productive. More so after you left for court."

When Harm raised his eyebrows inquiringly, Mac lowered her voice and continued. "You're a distraction when you're in your office. I kept thinking about what I'd like to do with you if there was any hope of privacy."

Harm leaned forward across the table and pointed his finger toward Mac's face. "_You_ .. are going to get us written up," but he couldn't hold his serious expression and ended with a laugh.

"I can't help it, Harm. I just feel so .. I don't know .. happy, I guess. But so much more than that. You're better than booze, and that's quite a compliment coming from an alcoholic."

Harm was startled. "I've never heard you joke about your addiction before," he said in surprise.

"It always felt like this black cloud hanging over me .. not something to joke about. But now, with you, it doesn't matter any more. I can't explain it, exactly."

"You're giving me a lot of credit, Mac. But I understand because I feel the same way.

They finished their lunch and went back into the building to return to work. They were alone in the elevator and Harm took Mac's hand and silently brought it to his lips. No words were necessary .. the gesture and the intense look in his eyes said it all. Then, her hand still on his lips, he asked, "Are you doing anything after work?"

Mac sparkled up at him. "Well, there's this hot sailor I just started dating who I'd planned to get into bed at the earliest opportunity. You have something else in mind?"

Harm laughed, "Mac, I'm seeing a whole new side of you." He released her hand as the elevator chimed for their floor. "Your place. 1800. I'll bring dinner." He lowered his voice even more as the doors began to open. "Something that won't spoil if it's not eaten right away."

They exited the elevator smiling and crossed the bullpen toward their offices. Lt. Singer met Harm in the bullpen and asked, "Sir, we've got the Madison hearing tomorrow. I've done quite a bit of work on it. Would you like to review it this afternoon?"

"Yes, Loren. Bring what you've got to my office in 15 minutes."

"Yes, sir." As she turned away, she nodded to Mac but didn't address her directly.

"Have an enjoyable afternoon," Mac said sarcastically as she turned toward her office. The tone was harsher than she intended. Though she knew better, she wasn't yet secure enough with Harm's love to prevent just a twinge of jealousy that it would be Singer and not her working with him this afternoon.

Harm shook his head slightly and let the remark go. He knew Mac really disliked Singer and that wouldn't change just because Harm was working more with Loren. In fact, put like that, Mac would probably dislike Loren even more. Oh, well. This is one of the reasons office relationships are discouraged. Still, he wasn't going to push Loren aside because Mac was jealous. He would just have to prove to Mac that she had no reason to be jealous .. and that could be a lot of fun …

End


End file.
